Please life......

.....could you let something work out for a change?! It seems like a small thing...but this morning my laptop crashed...hard! I can't get it to boot past about 10%.....so all the tips and tricks I've managed to Google will not work.
But my life is on that laptop....I need to access my work site, all my pics, all my art classes, my daily job search and yes my guilty pleasure of Netflix (but I don't have cable so I don't feel too bad about my Netflix watching haha)
Due to underemployment, not enough hours a week, I can't just take my laptop in somewhere to get it fixed. Everyday is a struggle financially right now and it's breaking/beating me down. Cell bill is overdue, rent is due and I'd really like to grocery shop and be able to cook dinner a few times a week. PB  & J sandwiches get old fast.
i was so happy to move home to Langley a year and a half ago but things have not gone well or anything like I expected. I'm just so tired of struggling and trying and things not working out!
I just want to work, full time, be able to catch up and take care of monthly expenses and go grocery shopping. And yes I'd like to be able to buy some art supplies for my classes or just for projects I want to make. Just so done with trying so hard and being kicked while I'm down :(

Well that's my vent/self pity for the day. I try to keep it all in and put on the good show with everyone that things are okay. But it's exhausting to do that all the time. I don't leave my house much on my days off because I can't afford to waste the gas in my car. When no oneis around, I cry aa lot. I know it doesn't help anything but I can cry while I do my job search daily lol well until my laptop crashed today. So yes I did this really mature thing and curled up with my blankie and cried myself to sleep! Again, i know it didn't solve anything or make things better, but I felt a bit better after finally getting some sleep. Still just all the small things keep adding up and I justices like an overwhelmed loser.

Now we need some positive thoughts....I did have a job interview today with a company i think would be awesome to work for (fingers crossed). We did have a great family dinner for my Dad's 67th birthday on Saturday. Got to do a fun day with my nephews at Svience World last week....and those boys are so awesome ♥

I think that's enough for today.....thanks for sticking with me and reading! Sometimes it's helpful just to get stuff out, even if it's not seen by lots of people.

Have an awesome week everyone!

Cathy